Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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