So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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