I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
