I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Is it because I queefed?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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