He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
