i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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