You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
