i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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