So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
