don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
