I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
