I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
