Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
