There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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