Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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