currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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