Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I take back everything I said about communal showers
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize