Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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