You made me cry and you don't even care
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
