he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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