Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
