I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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