11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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