Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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