please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
