Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize