There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
