Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
