Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize