sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You brought string cheese to the strip club
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
