I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
