Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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