You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
