Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
