I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
