I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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