So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
