your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
