I need help removing her.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize