Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My ass is underappreciated
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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