Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
