Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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