Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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