maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
