i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
