I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
