haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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