i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I love you. Go after that dick
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
