did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
