You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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