I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
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