I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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