Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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