I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
i've created a new STD.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
