Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
