Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Can I color on your dick again?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
