as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
